Nothing Stops Me

If I want to something fun, rewarding and fulfilling I spend time with my children and grandkids. Bo and Jo are two tough little fellas that seem to always be screaming and rough housing. Jasmine, my daughter assures me that they don’t always scream-just when I call. Haha. They live in Idaho Falls and that seems light years away so we call and talk and we visit when ever we can. Bo, short for Boulder had his first violin recital. He is now three years old and oh my.

We arrived at the recital with his hair combed all darling and styling his fine suit equipped with white shirt and tie. He was first on the program and parents and both sets of grandparents were ready to be pleased with his first two sentences of I’m a Little Monkey. But alas, he was too scared and wouldn’t go up and do his piece, which consisted of two bars of 8! Funny hu?

So he sat, and very intent fully watched the others play. He didn’t move a muscle. Finally, almost near the end, he told his mom, “Ok I want to play now.” We held our breath. Up he walked slowly and methodically. He precisely slid his foot the desired length with his “zip step.” He lifted his teeny- tiny- little violin up to his small and delicate chin. He raised his bow and rested it on the strings. Still holding our air in our lungs, he began to play his 12 notes. And he was done. With price he bowed and we clapped and breathed in pride and love.

As we walked out he profoundly stated, “Ok, let’s go to McDonalds!” He had been bribed and it was awesome. It was worth the day trip to Idaho Falls for sure.

BTW, my blog entries are a little behind real time… I post them on a work doc and then Heidi puts them on my blog a few weeks later so there is a bit of a time delay. I don’t know if anyone reads them or if they are just for my sake of having a journal but I am a structured thinker and it is bugging me that there is a time delay. Soon I will catch up to real time…

When I started blogging I wasn’t sure I could keep it up. I thought I wouldn’t like it or have time or have enough to say…haha… enough to say, gee should I write about my cool new novel, school, life’s lessons or my kids. Or about my dogs and my newest physical dilemma or…. Well I have a lot to say and love to blog about my thoughts. Truth is that I listen to clients all day and love every minute of it. After that it is healthy for me to get some things off my chest.

Well, my hips have been hurting a lot. So much so that it is hard to walk at times. I am confused because I can bust out 100 jumping jacks and it doesn’t hurt but to walk around the block is a chore. Why? That is weird. Well, I went and got x-rays and an MRI. I think I am starting to understand what is wrong but quite frankly I am not ready to talk about it. I love to run and climb mountains and with Justin’s funeral this weekend I haven’t had time to process what the Doc said…

Change of subject for a minute: Summer is in town. She finished up her three month escapades in Sweden and Finland, performing on the cruise ship that skims the Baltic Sea. She had a great experience… But she landed in LA where she lives, picked up her luggage and got a phone call that was not good news. She learned that her High School best friend’s husband was killed in a plane crash. The crash was over Wendover and all four young fathers in the small plane were killed on impact. Summer was devastated. The next morning she had to fly to Salt Lake for the viewing and funeral…

The funeral was very sad. Justin Yates was also a client of mine… I helped him train some of his team in Nuevo Reiche… Don’t know if I spelled that right… I helped him with his personal time management and accountability. I knew his heart and deepest fears and passions. I am so sad for Sally and their three little boys. My other Friend, Brande’s husband died about 14 years ago. She said she went into shut down and threw up for weeks, lost 30 lbs and went into a depression. Wow. I just HATE death. I understand it and have a testimony of the beautiful life after… but I just hate that dying is a reality…It totally sucks.

We get so connected to each other that physical separation is physically devastating. I am just sick for Sally. Summer helped her out by being at her side throughout the ordeal.

Since my X died in a motorcycle accident two years ago, my son is always asking, “Who’s next?” a terrible question but valid. My dad says, “We can’t get out of this life alive! That is the truth. This is why I always teach, “Live in the present.”

The present moment is all we have. This very second that I type these words, my tiny dog; Delilah is sitting by my legs, pushed up against me… There is always joy in the present second. I had a client last week that I hadn’t seen for about a year. He said, “Dar you were right, you are always right. I get it now but I didn’t get it then. I get that if there  is   guy with a machete that is going to thrash you, and you are under the bed, that for that very minute you are actually safe because he hasn’t got you yet. Truly and literality you are safe in the very present moment like you said.”

That was awesome of him to reiterate!

We need to love those that we are with; start treating it like that last time we may see them. Be in the present moment with those we love.

My editor called today. I always love hearing from Daisy. She is a young woman that graduated in English and Writing. She is really good at correcting my mistakes and helps me keep the story line straight.

Its fun to talk to her about Aura and Michelle, the two main characters in the book. Its is also a lot of fun to talk about the bad and evil men, Steadman and Donovan. Donovan is handsome but what a bad guy he is; he is so bad it is unbelievable. Daisy and I talk about his character and actions and how to tone down some scenes and spice up others.

Today I had Heidi, (my favorite assistant in the whole wide world, including Asia, the Middle East and Canada) send out a blast to all of my group, asking for a few proof readers. We got amazing responses and Heidi will send out the e version at the end of the week after Daisy makes the final revisions. It will be great to get some feedback from avid readers to see if they find any typos and how they feel about the plot and characters.

Well, I’m rocking in my doctoral program. My first class is almost over. All is well with that… but now I would like to reflect back to my bad mood last summer.

I must admit I was real ornery the summer or 2010. I was bored to tears and that is not good; I worry myself if I get too bored and I feel like i am going to crawl out of my skin and so insane. I feel like I want to get drunk and I am a Mormon who doesn’t drink! I want to scream nasty things to those that annoy me and I hope I won’t need medication to get my mind to settle into blaa – blaa and… Help me now! Don’t let me get bored….

Well, well, last summer I found myself alone too much. Don traveled alot and the dogs and I had gone on so many walks I needed to give them a rest. My client load was low as well as it is most summers.

(I must insert that no matter what is going on my life either good or bad I LOVE to meet with clients. I have the ability to compartmentalize what my life is about and stay completely present with each client; so no worries about my ability to help and assist and guide my client to achieve their outcome. Yes I am a normal person who has drama on occasion but wanted to reiterate that you are always safe with me as a client. )

There now with that said, I had an experience. And because of that experience I began to take out my frustration in a serious manic mode and started to type day and night. A story line that shocked me poured out my fingers. The plot twisted around and many times I had no idea what was going to happen until I read what I had typed! It was weird and uncanny.

Out came a romance, murder mystery, psychological thriller. Mid way through I thought, oh my heck, I can’t let my mom read this, or my neighbors in my church. Oh my!!! I had my daughter review it after I warned her that it was kind of rated R….She called me after reading the first few chapters and said, “Mom, you have a crazy mind.”

I admitted that I was clearly aware that I was writing a plot that could easily be on day time TV. In fact I may aspire to be a screen writer one day after I record and album, after I master Spanish and after my PhD….. My plots were more exciting than most I had seen.

I started feeling weird about being a self help author and then whipping up this intense romance and murder plot! What would my clients think? I decided that if I prefaced my book with my profound reasons that they would forgive me and actually embrace the “trip” they would take while turning the pages of my book.

My reasons are reasonable to me, but truly I believe that I may owe my readers a bit of an explanation. For decades, as an intuitive healer and Life Skills coach, I have assisted many to empower their lives with light and love. What the heck was I doing?

Here’s the true background: One day I was chatting with a colleague who was also a healer. She tapped into my energy field and while looking me square in the eye, she paused and said purposefully that I should write a book. I told her I had already written two self help books and they were doing rather well. She said, “No,” that I should write a different kind of book; a book with a spin that was completely different than what I had done before.

That night I had a flood in my head; the traumas that some of my clients had experienced became vivid in my mind. In addition to these memories, the mildly naughty side of my personality started to emerge and the two thoughts clashed together in one moment.

I became obsessed with writing day and night. When I finally ‘came to’ and wondered where this was all coming from, I sat back. I thought about my characters and about my clients.  I realized that that moral to the story is to get professional help before it is too late. Whether it is from the Eastern or Western school of thought; seek advice from Wise- Helpers throughout your life.

I decided to take a few months off my private practice and focus on my new venture, my new 90 degree turn, and so I began writing this novel.

And so it begins and, sufficed to say, the woman in this story was not able to get the right treatment because of her limiting beliefs toward her circumstance, and thus begins her wretched life.

I settled with the title: When Minds Collide

Well this first PhD class is actually easy. I totally understand the other students although I should be intimidated because one is a criminal justice psychologist, one student is a licensed social worker, one works in delinquent facilities as a licensed counselor, one is a rehabilitation supervisor, and one has his private practice and so on. Each student is so qualified and I am completely amazed that I understand all they say and all the subject matter. Yay, This is so fun. I think all the students have some of the same concerns I have.

This group of students will follow each other as cohorts throughout the program. In November I attend a residency in Arizona and will meet many of them. I am looking forward to that.

Today I start my PhD journey. I now know how to type the initials for it too… yay! I wonder what I am going to learn. I really feel like I am smart or a smart- ee pants and wonder what I am going to gain. First of all the reasons for pursuing my doctorate (I feel cool even typing that) is because simply, “I can’t not” the summit is too close. After my masters degree I felt complete. I got a job teaching psychology at UVU and told Rex it felt like I was eating my sandwich at the summit. I was where I wanted to be-very complete feeling… then my friend Theresa from the Capella University emailed me and asked me if I was going to go on. Um, I had to think about it… I acclimatized real quickly to the master’s base camp; the sky cleared up and right before my eyes was another yet summit, the highest of all.

I work with higher functioning individuals and groups. Still a life coach, soon to be Dr. Braden that helps people reaches the next level of success. I am so excited.

What will I learn? We all need to learn to not fudge and scoot around things. To be fully accountable to reference correctly, site, research, read the whole article instead of just stealing a sentence. I am not sure what content I will learn but already in my first assignment I have spent 5 hours to answer a two sentence question.

Then doubt began to set in. I wondered who will be in my first PhD class? Will I understand what they are saying? Will I understand the assignments?

I called my school and asked a billion pertinent questions. I submitted my application and left and waited a few weeks for a hopeful acceptance to the program. Finally a call came and they reviewed all my information and accepted me because of my high GPA in my master’s and the fact that I did my masters with them. Yay! Here I go…

Ok, I thought about it, I contemplated, I prayed and considered. All points to “Yes,” begin your Ph.D. program! Do it!

In my prívate practice of 13 years i have chosen to work with higher functioning individuals rather than the clinically sick that require hospitalization or medication. I like to work with the average- normal person that has typical issues such as inner conflict, sadness, or that just wants to reach the next level of success. So then, what area would i pursue in my doctoral program? As i researched different topics, I  considered many.

I decided to pursue my degree with the same school where i recieved my master’s degree. I found a program that is a perfect fit; Wa La: Advanced Studies of Human Behavior. Yes! So I will be a Dr. of the normal person that wants to be better, rather than a Dr. Of the sick.  A Dr. of Human Behavior. That sounds right!

Well, I wonder what the next summit of my life is….I wonder….Is it